i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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