He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
My life is pants optional.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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