Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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