how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
