Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
