bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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