fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize