This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
