I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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