I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
