Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
