I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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