I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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