Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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