Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
All I want is dick and wine.
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