The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize