Will you blow on my dice?
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
