girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
not ubering you a puppy
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
