What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
