i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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