I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
