And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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