There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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