Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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