p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
