THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
