We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
