wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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