I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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