so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
