I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize