well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
