Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
