Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
