Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
that may or may not have been my penis.
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