Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
