he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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