Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
