2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
