woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize