dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You made out with two different species that night
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
