it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
