I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Randomize
