You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
