i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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