I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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