Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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