Those balls look pretty dangerous.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
