I'm going to jail i love you
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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