I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
