Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style