I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.