Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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