No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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