NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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