i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize