Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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