dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
