You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm sobbing to NWA
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
