why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
