They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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